When you hear the word Hero, you probably think of the many different characters that populate modern motion pictures, comic books, or exciting adventure novels. But this tale is about the most unique and mysterious hero of them all. Born at an unspecified time, in an unspecified year, with no other name to go by, save for those of us who had the outstanding pleasure of meeting him - he became known as Captain Christmas!
This tale is one of the very few documented stories of the heroic Captain Christmas - a story so incredible, you’ll wish you were there!
December 1944, Hitler’s forces had invaded the North pole. As quoted by those who wish not to be named, heard, or even seen, it was, as this individual called it, the “most terrifying of experiences that any of Santa’s little helper’s could ever have imagined.”
Elves were chained, hands, and legs. Lined up in single file, stretching out miles. Reindeer were executed on the spot, piled up, and set ablaze in the cool crisp snowy air.
Some elves attempted escape, but they never made it far. Their brains and blood scattered in the snow.
The obedient ones however were packed, and squeezed, and ready for transport aboard a large green plane, where swastikas marked each wing.
The engine started, as did the departing hopes of each of the elves, who wondered what awaits them at their destination.
But wait! There! In the distance, miles and miles away! Running at top speed in the hard snow, crunching his black boots in a flash that could only equal to the top 10 best runners and athletes in the world, ran Captain Christmas!
Armed with his snowflake shaped shield made of chromium - the hardest metal in the world - He swings this amazing object with absolute fury through the cockpit, decapitating the pilots in several sharp seconds, then boomeranging through the top of the plane, and caught in the Captain’s strong gloved hand with ease!
The quiet cold comfort of the North Pole now exploded with clusters of bullets, released by the hundreds! Their guns all screaming in one direction - that of Captain Christmas!
The good Captain, still running at top speed, swings a dismantled gatling gun from his back, and fires, carving a long violent path for himself.
And in the hundreds, dropped many headless, armless, bloody, pulpy corpses in a dying disarray of advent delight.
When only a small group was left, Captain Christmas leaped high in the air, and landed square in the middle of them!
The soldiers squeezed their triggers, but Captain Christmas ducked, and sliced through each one of their legs with one strong swoop of his shield.
As the soldiers all laid in agony, Captain Christmas pulled a bottle from his belt, and poured fuel on their wounds. He lit them up like a Christmas tree with only a small book of matches.
A gunshot! There, by the transport plane! A lone nazi officer is executing elves! Captain Christmas leaped effortlessly over the fire directly at the foot of the plane.
The shooting stopped. A standoff.
The chamber to the German’s gun pressed against the head of his small hostage. Sweat rolled down his angry face.
And in one blink, there is a skull splitting splat! The metal arrow had shot straight through the nazi’s face, then pulled back by the attached rope, taking the head along for the return trip, and in the grip of Captain Christmas.
Gathered around their red suited hero of wonder, the Elves wept, and cheered, and screamed.
The invasion of the north Pole had failed, and Captain Christmas was never seen again.
Well… for now anyway.
THE
END.
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